has seen it, a child that explodes when they are told to do
something or when things don’t go as planned.
These children have been seen losing complete
can become verbally and physically aggressive.
Are these children spoiled, stubborn or manipulative?
NO! Those labels suggest that such children
manipulate others and intentionally plan difficult behavior.
reward/punishment approaches are used to try and teach and
motivate them to behave more appropriately, but for many
children, the standard methods don’t work.
These children are easily frustrated and without
intention, extremely inflexible.
They can become overwhelmed or stuck on seemingly
simple requests, benign issues and sudden changes in plans.
They may be anxious, moody, irritable and volatile.
often these children cannot explain what is frustrating them.
Regardless of how old they are, they may have trouble
thinking through potential solutions to problems.
Their sensory systems may be hyper sensitive.
They may be clinically diagnosed with a variety of disorders
including Oppositional-Defiant Disorder, ADHD, Tourette’s
Syndrome, Depression and Bipolar Disorder.
those involved, the family may be in a perpetual state of crisis.
Parents and family members feel frustrated, overwhelmed,
guilt-ridden, exhausted and hopeless. In some instances the ferocity of an outburst can be
frightening. Often, the
realizations that these children are somehow different, is
frustrating as well as painful.
There is no “test” to give these kids that can medically
diagnose this problem as it is pervasively part of the child’s
makeup. There is no
magic wand to make it go away.
Spanking, withholding privileges, time-out and other
punishments not only don’t work, but it can make the situation
worse! But there is
hope . . . so long as the parents, family members, relatives,
teachers, etc. of these children realize this:
your child could do better, he/she would
and/or explosive children require different disciplinary practices
than do other children. With
education, qualified supports and counseling in place, living with,
and managing defiant and oppositional behaviors can help you to:
Learn strategies to help diffuse child and adolescent
Find out how to set and handle limits
Become an enlightened parent as you find out how to manage
personal feelings of guilt, anger and frustration and so
Finkelstein, LCSW & Psychotherapist has presented this and other
topics to parents, teachers and caregivers through Programs
for Education sponsored by The CHILD Organization.
Professional development hours are also available for this program.
A Susan Ibarra Publication, All Rights Reserved
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